I've had a lot of trouble with my name throughout my life. Born as the first son to middle class Americans it was only natural that they would want to pass on my father's nomen to me. However, they seemed to have messed up somewhere. For instead of given my my father's full name, which is Mark Dennis Mattox, they decided to mix it up a bit by giving me a different middle name. This is all well and good, but then they took it a step further and decided that not only would I get a different middle name than my father, they would use it to refer to me for the rest of my life.
This worked out okay for me up until about the age of 14, when I felt I should rebel. Every year up to that point was the same. The first day of school would come and the teacher would read out our names, saying, "Now if any of you prefer to use a middle name or a shortened version just make sure and tell me." And every year they would get halfway through the class and say, "Mark Mattox?" And I would reply, "I go by Ryan." I just had to be different. There were only ever 2 or 3 other kids who would want to be called something else, and even then it was usually just a Jake instead of Jacob, or Tom instead of Thomas. No one went by their middle name.
So when 6th grade rolled around I decided to challenge the status quo. Mr. Geyer went through the names, marking down abbreviations. When he got to me I simply said, "Here". There was an audible gasp in the room. Everyone there except for poor, unknowing Mr. Geyer, had always known me as Ryan. My decision to claim my birth name flew in the face of everything they had ever known. Throughout the day I was asked countless times why I did it. I never really had a good answer. I'm not sure that I have one now.
A year later, the first day of 7th grade, there was a palpable tension in the room when Mrs. Hartmeyer came to my name. She had always known me as Ryan, having taught 3rd grade at the the first elementary I attended before moving to the middle of nowhere. So instead of saying my name and looking around the room she simply said, "Mark, oh wait, no, you're Ryan, and I see that you're here." And just like that I was back to being Ryan, and I stayed Ryan until I graduated from High School.
It was as Ryan that I went off to college, but that soon changed. I tried to maintain my identity, but when the class size grows from 30 to 150 it becomes a little difficult to convince people that you're name isn't the one they have on their roster. It would have been simpler if I had been named Marcus and wanted to be called Mark. That they would have understood, but to be named Mark and want to be called Ryan was just ludicrous. So I gave up. I became a Mark and embraced it.
Most of my friends now know me as Mark. My boyfriend has never called my anything other than Mark. Though there is an interesting phenomenon among both my friends and relatives. When my relatives speak to my friends they refer to me as Mark, but when my friends speak to my relatives they refer to me as Ryan. It's almost as if everyone sub-consciously goes out of their way to make those around them more comfortable.
After moving to Germany my name didn't change, but the way it is pronounced did. I was no longer Mark Mattox, pronounced Maddox, no I had become Mahrk Mat-tox. And not just Mahrk Mat-tox, but Herr Mahrk Mat-tox. It got to the point that when I would have to say my name to a German I would just give in and pronounce it like they do, if only to facilitate spelling. My German boyfriend has managed to get it right, so maybe there's hope for the rest of the country.
Since becoming a journalist my name has changed even more. When the hosts read my name on the air it always ends up coming out as Mark Mat-tox. So I changed the way it is spelled in the leads that they read. When they, as well as other people, don't have my name right in front of them, they often call me Matt or Mike. Matt I can understand because of my last name, but Mike? Really? Recently I wrote a story about the scandal at Siemens. A Dutch woman, who speaks English like an odd mix between a Brit, an Aussie, and a New York socialite said that following sentence: "The scandal comes on the heels of the departure of CEO Klaus Kleinfeld. Max Mattox has the details."
Max?
Max?
My name was right in front of her face! This is just getting out of control.
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